COUNSELING & RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
HOW TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
– GOD'S WAY (Part 3)
For Married and Non-Married Partners
THE MARRIAGE MANUAL – BY GOD
1 Corinthians 15:45 “And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.”
The first Adam in the above scripture is Adam (the natural) the husband of Eve. The second Adam (Jesus; the spiritual) is the husband of the church of God. Two Adams; one was in the natural, but the other in the spiritual. Now watch this:
The first Adam got his wife from his ribcage (God made the woman from the side of the man). The second Adam (Christ) births his wife (the Church) from the piercing of the sword into his ribcage on the cross at Calvary. The Bible says, “Water and blood came out of his side.” Women understand what that means during labor.
The first Adam was put to sleep to escape pain before birthing his wife. The second Adam was awake and went through enormous pain to birth his wife (The church of God). The scripture above tells us it’s the last Adam; there will be no more Adams created. One may be asking what all this has to do with marital problems. It has a lot to do with it. We tend to forget that we are made of body, soul, and spirit, and as such, when something goes wrong in the spiritual, it affects the physical as well.
Now that we know how the two wives (Church and female spouse) came to be, we would study the responsibilities and the affections that create a stable marriage. Remember, we are referencing the manufacturer’s manual. God says in the verses below, serve and obey me and I will guarantee you coverage.
This scripture lays out God’s blessings for the man who leads his family towards the things of God:
Psalms 128:1 “Blessed is every one that fears (Obeys) the Lord; that walks in his ways.
 “For you shall eat the labor of your own hands: happy you will be, and it shall be well with you.
 “Your wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of your house: your children like olive plants round about your table.”
 “Behold, so shall the man be blessed that fears (Obeys) the LORD.”
EXPLANATION OF Psalms 128:1-4
 A husband that lives for God is already blessed in the following areas:
 Whatever he laid his hands on or endeavors to undertake will produce good results. He will receive happiness from God. A godly happiness is one that is constant regardless of the circumstances present.
 “Your wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of your house: ….”
Note where the fruitful vine (Your wife) grows: by the side of your house. This means a godly husband liberates his wife to function powerfully outside the house (Kitchen). He has vested a blessing of confidence in her by helping her unveil her potentials. Her works and contributions operate from outside of the box (the kitchen and producing babies) to a powerful fruitful vine that others see and they are drawn to it. The scripture above also serves as a warning to men who out of jealousy, insecurity, fear, and self-centeredness set unnecessary restrictions on their spouses; thereby hindering their God-given abilities and potentials. Some call restrictions clarity, but it’s not because there is always a hidden concern behind it. Couples must demonstrate absolute trust for each other.
 “… Your children like olive plants round about your table.”
Note where the children are supposed to be; round about your table. The children stay in and learn the things of God from the father. The father demonstrates the examples of godliness that his children need for their spiritual development as well as physical development. The wife is growing outside of the kitchen while the children around the table close to leader’s directives. It’s ungodly to love your children more than your spouse. Blessings start from the head down.
HOW TO MAINTAIN THE SPECIAL ORNAMENT (The wife)
Ephesians 5:25-26 “Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Note: he did not give himself to it, which would have meant he became addicted to it; instead, he gave himself for it, which means he agreed to sacrifice himself for her, in the form of tolerance and longsuffering. The leader cannot lose control of himself and blowup; he must constantly remain above water to sail his family to glory. God puts the man in charge of his family, and he is only concerned about how well the captain performs. He will be held accountable for a marriage collapse, except his wife was adulterous. This is the manufacturer’s blueprint. Furthermore,
 “That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.”
In other words, it’s the husband’s responsibility to sanctify and cleanse his wife’s spirit by washing her with biblical teachings (The Word of God). He uses the word of God to wash all the ungodly things in his wife. He acts as the purifier of her spirit. The husband is the high priest of his home. The anointing oil is poured on the head of the high priest, as it was done in earlier biblical times, and it drips down to his body and feet, which represents the people under his care. When it comes to praying for the family, God hears the prayer of a faithful husband than he hears of anybody else including your pastor. DO NOT SHUN THE PRAYERS OF YOUR HUSBAND AND RUN FOR YOUR PASTOR’S PRAYERS ON THE SAME MATTER. Follow the manual.
 “That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”
God will not share his glory with anybody, but in the above scripture, he shares his glory with his wife (The church). Men, help your wives achieve glory. The glory of a woman is her hair (1 Corinthians 11:15). Let her look good. Christ worked hard to make sure his wife is holy, not on the outside but internally.
“Not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” In other words, holiness is internal. When God looks in, he must see the right content. Christ also gave us reason to respect him through his unparallel good examples, self-control, and composure.
 “So should men love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself.”
To love your wife you must first love yourself (Not selfishly). Not being able to love your wife means you are unable to love yourself. Not loving oneself could be because of low self-esteem and many other factors. God is love and if we are children of God then we are made of his kind. Satan put low self-esteem, bitterness, unhappiness, rejection, and self-abnegations in people. Reclaiming the identity of love will help us love our wives.
 “For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourish and cherish it, even as the Lord the church.”
NEXT WILL BE THE ROLE OF THE WOMAN IN GOD’S MARRIAGE MANUAL.
Pastor Tom Thaddaeus Thompson